Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Third and Ugh – Week 5

Posted: October 2, 2013 in Uncategorized

Much like last week, this week was an email exchange of football picks between Spence and myself because he has a wedding to attend to (Congratulations to Davis and Soon-To-Be-Mrs.-Davis). Here’s how we broke it down:

Hey Spence,

I guess your ‘Bizarro Week’ has turned into a ‘Bizarro Season’ and a lot of things I’m still trying to make sense of…and you’ll notice that when we go through this week’s lines. Let us begin and (hopefully) come out on top!

Buffalo vs CLE (-4.0) – Wow, do I ever want to get suckered into this one and take Buffalo…
NE vs Cin (-1.0) – REALLY?! New England ISN’T the favourite in this game?! What has Cincy done to be favourites? Take NE!
Det vs GB (-7.0) – Too high of a line.
Sea (-1.5) vs Ind – Yes, Indy is hot right now but they’ve beaten the Jags (ugh) and a 49ers team trying to get it together. SEATTLE!
Phi @ NYG (-1.0) – Giants are 0-4 and favourites? …and I’m afraid to take them.
KC (-2.5) vs Ten – Titans lost their starting QB, KC is undefeated and less than a FG? CHIEFS, BABY!
Jak vs Stl (-11.5) – Too high.
Car (-1.5) vs Arz – Carolina should have this one. Should.
Den (-8.0) vs Dal – I have no reason not to take Denver other than it’s too high.
Hou vs SF (-7.0) – Houston ran the table against Seattle and San Francisco looks like a poor-man’s-Seattle. Hmmm…
SD (-4.5) vs Oak – This should be a SD win.
NYJ vs Atl (-9.5) – Oh, yeah, no…

Okay, so to recap:

New England (+1.0) over Cincy.
Seattle (-1.5) over Indy.
KC (-2.5) over Ten.
Thoughts?

-Chris

——————————————————–

Morning Chris,

You would have thought Bizarro anything would work in our favour considering our sub .500 record on normal weeks. Not the case. Damn.

Buffalo vs CLE (-4.0) – Beware buddy. ‘Ol Buffalo is up to its old tricks. And CLE – somehow – is a new team. Not going to touch.
NE vs Cin (-1.0) – What are they thinking?! Are they worried about the NE pass def? They should worry more about CIN losing badly against CLE last weekend. Worst case scenario, this is an ugly win for the Pats. Exactly how they’ve gone to 4-0 and soon 5-0.
Det vs GB (-7.0) – Agreed.
Sea (-1.5) vs Ind – Let’s continue to ride the ‘Hawks.
Phi @ NYG (-1.0) – PHI looks lost at 1-4. The Giants are just awful. Couldn’t even give them home field advantage here. I’d rather put my two dollars into a gum ball machine and reap the rewards of a mouthful of old, stale gum.
KC (-2.5) vs Ten – Really?! Something is going on here. Vegas, is that you hiding behind the curtains. Are you fucking with us again?…
Jak vs Stl (-11.5) – Agreed.
Car (-1.5) vs Arz – The Panthers are coming off a by-week. I like them to take it to ARZ.
Den (-8.0) vs Dal – We have to get on this wagon Chris. Anything under -14.0 pts is now the norm here until proven otherwise. Tony Dungee – former head coach of Peyton’s former Colts – said that the Cowboys play a 4-3 defensive game. This is the same def scheme Payton saw every day in practice for 7 (sic) years. He’s confident the Broncos continue to roll and so am I.
Hou vs SF (-7.0) – Yup, take the points. If only we could take the 3 points too many here and spread them out to the rest of our picks.
SD (-4.5) vs Oak – This should be a SD win. This should be a SD win. …just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it?
NYJ vs Atl (-9.5) – Wow, third straight week for ATL against the AFC East. Will it be 3 straight loses? I doubt it, though -9.5 pts is steep.

Okay, so to recap:

New England (+1.0) over Cincy Yes.
Seattle (-1.5) over Indy Yes.
KC (-2.5) over Ten YES.

Spence

Best of luck to us (and you) because we all need it….badly.

Thanks for reading and stay connected with me on Twitter: @ChrisFudali.

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If this is your first time checking out the YouTube Advent, it’s a work-week’s worth of videos (some viral, others have the potential to be) and you can treat it like an advent calendar that you get at Christmas during the holiday season. Like those delicious chocolate calendars, you can either watch one per day or you can indulge in all of them at once.

Man vs Praying Mantis. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….*deep inhale*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (Seriously, it’s a bug and you p****d it off…and then screamed because it might have gotten on your clothes. Amazing.)


Eminem vs Interviews on Live Tv
– This is great for the fact that Eminem (who was supposed to be promoting his new album “Marshall Mathers LP 2” and soon-to-be-new video for the single “Berzerk) totally punked people on Saturday Night Football. Lots of those watching weren’t in on “the joke” and that’s what made the interview great! Watch it, embrace it, and enjoy it.


Captain Kirk watches Miley Cyrus
– Fresh of the heels of Hank and Marie watching the video comes Captain Kirk and the rest of the Enterprise crew. (NOTE: Nothing phases Spock. Not even this. It’s amazing.)


Fake Professor
– It seems like every year there’s a clip of a professor or teacher punking the class by sending in a T.A. or a friend to freak everyone and then let everyone in on the joke. Only, this doesn’t seem like a joke (though it probably is). Either way, watching/hearing the reaction of all the kids is priceless. (By the way, if you’re a student heading into post-secondary education and videos like this are available, why haven’t you done your homework and known going in you may get fooled?)


Iron Man 3 Honest Trailer
– When I saw Iron Man 3, I felt underwhelmed compared to the original and even the second. Three felt like it was missing something that I couldn’t put my finger on. Thankfully, the Honest Trailer guys did it up and made me nod in agreement with every point they made (after watching this, you probably will too).


Bonus – Honest Guy
– The guy who does the voiceover for the Honest Trailers Jon Bailey goes around town, comes up from bhind people and does “on the spot” trailers with help from Kevin. This is a must watch to see how quickly they’re able to put all of this together.

Thanks for reading and stay connected with me on Twitter: @ChrisFudali

NFL Week 1 Point Spread Picks

Posted: September 6, 2013 in Uncategorized

Stock market

So, here’s the deal: every year for the NFL season, my buddy Darren and I sit down and go through the weekly point spread (as provided by OLG). This week we take our picks from the following games New England/Buffalo; Tampa Bay/New York Jets; Kansas City/Jacksonville. We also talked about the NBA and baseball, as well as some delicious pizza in Timmins (football talk starts around the 9 minute mark).

REMEMBER: If you take our advice, don’t hold it against us and if you are one to gamble, do so respoisibly.

A Sampling of Good.

Posted: September 5, 2013 in Uncategorized

good5On September 24th, Matthew Good will be releasing his sixth solo album titled “Arrows of Desire”. The 10 track disc will follow up 2011’s Lights of Endangered Species and is currently available for pre order on iTunes, Amazon and if you want a 12 in LP it will also include a digital download. Today, Matthew Good released a handful of tracks on his site which you can find here. BUT, if you want things to be a little easier, just keep reading below for the tracks he made available either on SoundCloud or YouTube.

Arrows of Desire – This song starts off heavy and mid tempo with some reminisicece of Alert Status Red, which seems to be where Matt had found his stride: mixing heavy mid tempo music with deep lyrics to hook an audience that “gets it”.

Had it Coming/Long Way Gone – Both tracks (yes, they are two separate tracks) have similar flows where Matt appears to be preaching to the listener while condemning them at the same time. For fans, this is what Matt Good has gown to become and his lyrics create a double meaning for those who want to pay attention and try to dissect what he’s saying.

Hey Heaven Hell – This really feels like “solo Matt Good” stuff that he’s tried to separate from his days as “Matthew Good Band”. The video may serve as another purpose (for those who are willing to read into it) but sonically it’s on par with the direction Matt Good has accomplished.

Guns of Carolina – Out of the tracks that Matt Good has made available off this album so far, this is the best one. Simply put, this is his “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.” The somber tone with his vocals and accompanied by the video make for a borderline chilling experience. It may not get the mainstream success that it deserves but should be a song that makes its way onto your iPod.

Thanks for reading and stay connected with me on Twitter: @ChrisFudali

 Game of Thrones/Walter White Mash Up – It’s pretty much what the title says it is but at the same time gets me upset over the fact that Walter White should be going after the House Lannister while making a loose alliance with House Stark and maybe double crossing them at the Red Wedding (SPOILER ALERT) and…oh, forget it. Just enjoy the clip and I’ll nerd out another time.
 
How to Tap a Beer Keg with a Det Cord – Okay, so until this video surfaced, the best “blowd-it-UUUUUUP!” story I had heard was my buddy’s grandfather trying to remove a tree stump and sending said stump through the foundation of the house and into the family room. Now, you have Ole Faithful of Kegs. This wins. Hands down. (AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!)

How to Open a Case of BeerOkay, this may be more suitable for the long weekend. (MAY 

How to Cut Your Lawn – Yup, long weekend and you probably don’t feel like doing any chores. Well, here’s one way to get around cutting the grass.

Whitehorse City Council – (deep, smoky voice) Coming this fall on Channel 9. You wanted to know where the tax dollars went, and they wanted to publically fund the museum’s rec grant. Catch it all during: Whitehorse City Council!…after Law and Order. (No joke, this is their actual commercial minus the voiceover guy.)

LABOUR DAY BONUS/In Case you Missed Is – Bill Murray on David Letterman last week to commemorate his 20th anniversary on CBS dressed as Liberace.

Thanks for reading and if you want to stay connected with me, do it on Twitter: @ChrisFudali

YouTube Advent

Posted: August 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

For those of you new to this, the YouTube Advent is a collection of videos found on YouTube (or through other means online) that are meant to help you get through the week. Sometimes funny, sometimes touching, but mostly funny or to give a “WTF?!” moment. Like any good advent calendar, it’s up to you to decide whether or not to watch all the videos at once or watch them once a day and slowly devour their deliciousness. This week’s collection is for August 26-30, 2013 and, as always, includes a break down of the video. Enjoy!

Mall Proposal – Yes, this is probably staged and not a real proposal (notice that a train interrupts it? That’s what I call “a tell”) BUT it does include someone taking a ukulele to the head! Not since the Honky Tonk Man have I been this impressed with the use of a piece of musical equipment (apologies to the Road Dogg, but Honky Tonk was the original).

Long Board Stop – I’m going to throw this out there: I hate long boards. I find the riders get in the way, have issues controlling them, and give the appearance that “I don’t have Tony Hawk’s talent and if I ride a regular board run the risk of getting called out as a poser.” BUT, if you happen to put a hipster who resembles Ron Swanson on one and start him at the top of a hill, you have my full attention.

Dirt bike Rider vs. Ram
(How I believe this conversation went down afterwards.)

Mom: “Honey, how were the trails today?”
Son: “Horrible. I had a ram come after me.”
Mom: “What?!”
Son: “A ram. It came after my bike.”
Mom: “Riiiiight. A ram.”
Son: “No, seriously! We wrestled and everything. Let me upload the video, edit the bad language so it doesn’t offend you, and put the theme of Benny Hill in the background to prove it!”
Mom: “I don’t like you wrestling with wildlife; it’s dangerous! Next time, just remove yourself from any potential harm.”


Dirt Bike Rider vs. Ram (rematch)
(How I believe this conversation went down afterwards.)

Mom: “How were the trails today? Any RAMS??” *snickers*
Son: “Yes, actually. I took your advice and got away as quickly as possible.”
Mom: “Good.”
*Meanwhile, the ram is seen on top of the hill, standing upright and yelling “BIKERRRRRR!!!” into the sky like Rocky in Russia.*

Georgia Tech Speech – This is nothing short of spectacular. With school starting on Tuesday, and a lot of freshmen about to move in, this should be an inspiration to everyone. Stay in school, be motivated, hone your craft, and dominate.

Thanks for reading and if you want to stay connected with me, do so on Twitter @ChrisFudali.

YouTube Advent

Posted: May 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

YouTube Advent 1Here’s the deal: I’m trying something new for this blog entry (born out of either sheer genius or sheer laziness…most likely laziness) where I pass along a five YouTube clips that you must see. I repeat: MUST SEE (according to me). Actually, this was originally going to be called “Work Week’s Worth of YouTube” but I felt that was a little long which is why it’s been shortened to “YouTube Advent”. The reason is simple: you can treat this like the Advent Calendar you get during the holiday season. You can eat one treat per day (as god intended) or you can binge and eat all the treats at once (as I have been known to do). Let’s get started.

Will and Jaden Smith with Special Guests

Why Watch? – Magic happens. That’s what. Will and Jaden Smith are out promoting “After Earth” on the BBC’s “The Graham Norton Show” when Graham asks if they’ve ever rapped or performed together and then the clip takes off like a rocket. The appearances (which I won’t ruin in the synopsis) is amazing but the clip is sold when you see Bradley Cooper do the “White Guy Claps to the Beat because He Can’t Really Dance” thing and Heather Graham shake her head back and forth like she’s on a trip from something she took during the making of “Boogie Nights”.

 What’s Missing? – Certain production things that we in North America take for granted (like a *expletive* curtain! Hell, Conan had a drawback curtain when he did the “Tonight Show”; hide the surprise guests and really make the crowd go nuts). Other than that, it’s pure gold.

 

Russian Delivery Guy

Why Watch? – If you can’t read the title of the video (and I’m in that category) I won’t ruin it for you but it gives me little faith of ever ordering pizza again or just going to Europe. I can’t tell if they’re the more or less advances than North America when it comes to things like video cameras everywhere (remember the meteor that hit and everyone in Russia seemed to have video because dash cams because people are, well, read this.  That, and I’ve already seen Fast and Furious 6, so I know I could never pull off a heist in London).

What’s Missing? – Sound/Subtitles. This video could be so much better if you could hear the delivery guy say something relating to either his job, the pizza, or even if he’s cursing out the country.

 

K-Mart Gas

Why Watch? – There’s a good chance you’ve seen the second in (what I can only imagine to be) a series of K-Mart commercials that use the same puns/ humour that we used back in the third grade. Here’s the thing: if a third grader comes up to you and says these types of jokes, you’ll still laugh because you’re immature like the rest of us.

What’s Missing? – K-Mart in Canada. I haven’t seen one in ages let alone one with a gas bar! But, we are on our way to getting more American stores (if only we can convince them to call it “Targé”…).

 

The Simpsons/Robot Chicken

Why Watch? It’s The Simpsons and Robot Chicken! COMBINED! (…and there’s a “Fast & Furious reference!)

What’s Missing? – Lenny, Milhouse, Chief Wiggum, Smithe-oh, I’m just nitpicking now.

Under Siege – Silent Movie

Why Watch? – It’s Steven Segal in the role of his life: as Casey Ryback in a silent movie with old-timey music and in black & white! Same plot as the original but trimmed down to just over eight minutes!

What’s Missing? – Maybe Vern and Johnny, but then it’ll turn into a talkie and, thus, ruining the film.

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to follow me on Twitter: @ChrisFudali